vs frank mir ufc mma cage fighter against vs zombies

One of the great things about being a father is perspective… you know, kids will ask off-the-wall questions and it makes you think. So, dads, ever get that “why is the sky blue” question, or “why is my mommy making that noise” when they listen through the bedroom door?
What’s a guy to say?!
But, sometimes I turn the tables and ask the wild questions to get them thinking. This time, I want to get everyone on it. So, here’s my question:

Just how would a zombie do in the cage against a professional mixed martial arts fighter?

First, let’s examine the zombie and see what characteristics may help him/her/it in the cage:

Zombies In The Octagon

  • Focus – talk about single-mindedness (pardon the pun). All they want is some fresh flesh and juicy grey matter. The bloodier, the better. Ever see The Walking Dead? They don’t want canned spam, bro, they want bleeding, screaming meat. I’ve come to think that screams are a kind of zombie spice… sorta like salt.
  • Dedication – they never give up. Also, they’re 100% committed to their all-brain diet. I’d puke after just a few days eating nothing but the best filet mignon! Zombies? Nooooo… they stick to it by keeping things simple.  Here’s an example of what their food pyramid looks like:
    zombie brain food pyramid
    Tell me sticking to THAT wouldn’t take some serious dedication!
  • Teamwork – Zombies don’t eat each other. If they did, there would have only been one movie. And they hunt in swarming packs. I wish I could get my kids to cooperate like that!
  • Strength – I don’t think they know how to hold back… and they routinely crash through doors, fences and walls. They’re some strong mo-fo’s!
  • Commitment – Hey, it’s gotta take commitment to keep pushing forward when those pesky humans are popping your pals in the head with everything from shotguns to flame throwers!

So, although I’ve probably left out a lot, let’s look at the qualities of an MMA/UFC fighter and see where they cross over with their zombie brethren.

MMA UFC Fighter Characteristics

  • Focus – it takes intense focus to pick your target and not expose yourself to a submission or knockout blow.
  • Dedication – I see guys in the gym train for professional MMA fights and their dedication is inspiring. They watch their diet and weight, all with the goal of victory in mind. (I guess you’re starting to see where I’m going with this).
  • Teamwork – no man is an island. Without a team of coaches and training partners (willing to get hurt for your benefit) a cage fighter wouldn’t stand a chance. There’s a saying in the gym – Don’t break your toys! That means don’t hurt your training partners. Save it for competition. That’s some good teamwork there.
  • Strength – pound-for-pound, these guys are sick strong. I’ve rolled with 150 lb guys who make my 190-lb, “body by Marines” muscles, feel oh so weak. It’s truly tragic… for my ego. Some nights I need to grab a newbie just to feel good about myself and this huge investment of time and sweat.
  • Commitment – when ya gotta sit in an ice bath to bring down the swelling and get back to training, you know commitment is the only thing that keeps you going. One of our teammates recently got knocked out and has a plate in his jaw after taking a knee to the face in the second round. A few weeks later, he’s back on the mat, showing us what commitment is all about. So, where does this leave us?

The End Result… forget Mir vs Nogueira!

In the end, it looks even.
But wait!
The zombie is not worried about his next fight and will never, ever tap. You can arm-bar them into tomorrow, break their should like Frank Mir did to Nogueira, rear naked choke the piss out of ’em, and you’ll not see a tap in sight.
Nope, hungry zombie no tappy.
In fact, the very-human MMA/UFC fighter has got to be scared out of his gourd when it comes to the dreaded bite that will certainly induce zombification (thank you, Mr. Bush, for the grammatical influence-ifying). Looks like our pal the zombie is gonna prevail unless our UFC refs allow firearms in the cage.
When that happens, count me in!


Bowie MMA Head Coach – Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black Belt Carlos Catania under BJJ Red Belt Sergio Penha. Watch and listen to the detailed instruction. This is the quality of training and explanation we get in class.

Call 240-286-5219 or email for more info.

Bowie Mixed Martial Arts offers self defense/personal safety training for women… taught by coaches who have taught law enforcement officers, professional fighters, as well as wives, husbands, fathers and mothers how to stay safe.

Would you know what to do in a potentially dangerous situation?

We can help.
You can learn how technique can triumph over strength and size.
You can also learn how to stay safe and avoid a confrontation altogether.
Most importantly – you will feel safer and more confident.

self defense for women in pg county, bowie, crofton, maryland 20715 21114

Call 240-286-5219

You can also email us at Info@MMAofBowie.com



Are you stationed at Ft. Meade in Maryland and looking for a BJJ, MMA, Judo, Submission Grappling school? I’ve been in your shoes. I moved around in the Marine Corps and had to rely on whatever intel I could find to get where I wanted to go… and sometimes I wasted a lot of time (and money).

Let me save you both by recommending Bowie MMA under Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black Belt Carlos Catania (Team Sergio Penha, a BJJ Red Belt) and 2d Degree Judo Black Belt & BJJ Brown Belt Charles Cherry (an Army wrestler at Ft. Bragg for 3 years). We’re close and have produced NAGA champions and professional MMA fighters… and we’ll work with you to make your training as affordable and productive as possible.

Get to us at 13711 Annapolis Rd. suite 104B, Bowie, MD 20720

Call us at 240-286-5219 or email info@mmaofbowie.com

carlos catania brazilian jiu jitsu black belt bowie mma bjj

BJJ Black Belt and Head Coach – Carlos Catania


BJJ Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Brown Belt in Bowie, Crofton, Columbia, PG County Maryland

Congratulations to Bowie MMA coach Charles Cherry on his promotion to BJJ Brown Belt by Sergio Penha/Carlos Catania. Coach Cherry holds a 2d degree black belt in Judo and has a list of accomplishments that is quite impressive.

Click here for his full bio.

No-Gi submission “The Monson Choke” as demonstrated by Bowie MMA Coach Carlos Catania, BJJ Black Belt and Team Sergio Penha member:

Coach Carlos earned his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt under Sergio Penha, one of the very few in the world to hold the BJJ Black and Red belt. Coach also trained Anthony Argyros and recently awarded him his BJJ black belt.

For more info, visit http://www.MMAofBowie.com

Do you live near Bowie, Crofton, Lanham or Mitchelville and have you been watching UFC on Spike lately, wondering how you could learn some of the moves that so often win matches?

From a properly-executed guillotine choke, to how to hold your position and advance, come to a class any night of the week and you’ll have the chance to see how it’s done. Our coaches are professional champions with the skills and background to show you how to win… or just get healthy.

Some of our students have fought, and won, with no prior MMA experience. That’s right, everything they’ve learned came from our coaching team. We’ve got the resources at Bowie MMA to equip you to win, either in the cage or on the street.

Give us a call at 240-286-5219.

BJJ Black Belt Carlos Catania. Coach Carlos is a 5-time NAGA Absolute Champion (no weight restriction, all-in submission grappling) and has traveled around the world honing his skills.  We have an exclusive library of his training videos available only to Bowie MMA students. Coach Carlos’ world-class instruction is priceless, and it comes with your membership because you will have one-on-one time with him.

carlos catania smilin' brazilian jiu jitsu black belt bowie mma bjj
Head Coach – BJJ Black Belt, Carlos Catania

Email us at info@mmaofbowie.com or call 240-286-5219 to get started. You can try us for two weeks to see if MMA or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu are for you. Go for it!

mma title holder winner darnell murphy 155 lb Bowie MMA carlos catania sergio penha

Darnell Murphy of Bowie MMA took home the belt of a champion Saturday night.
With this win, Darnell’s record is now 4-0 and he holds the OSF title in the 155 lb weight class. He won with a guillotine choke in the first round.

To learn more about Bowie MMA visit http://www.mmaofbowie.com or call 240-286-5219 email info@mmaofbowie.com

This video is Carlos’ first tournament at the 1998 New York Grappling Challenge, where he earned his first championship title.
In this video, Carlos is a white belt competing against a purple belt.